Panic Attacks are Not a Good Way to Start College

Yesterday was lovely. I am so incredibly excited for my two psychology classes, and even ceramics should be okay. I had some really good conversations with two awesome friends, and I met some of the other girls in my new hall too. So naturally the day had to end poorly, right? After our hall meeting, I checked my emails to see that this kid (who I had thought I had traded shifts with) was asking someone else to take his shift. That means he probably didn't remember that we had traded, meaning he probably didn't show up for my shift that night. I know that would honestly be his own fault, but I still feel guilty about it. Problem #2: Art classes have a LOT of supplies you need to purchase. I knew I had some at home, but my mom's phone wasn't working. Apparently it decided that ringing was too last year, because I was calling her for about an hour before she happened to glance at it while it was going off. She was able to come up and help me get some supplies, which was nice. BUT, while all this was going on it snowed 2 inches, and I got ticketed for parking on the street during a "snow emergency" (come on, Minnesota, 2 inches! That's not a snow emergency...) The only reasons I was on the street was because my school hadn't gotten my new parking permit. When I went to the office to get it, the lady was a crab too, which certainly didn't help things.

But to end on a positive note: I had tea with my sister, and I won a parking space in the garage under my apartment building.

The Challenge of Opinion

So going through high school there's a sort of ultimate question that always seemed to pop up a lot: "But is that your opinion or your parents's opinion?"

In high school, it was easy to laugh it off. "No, of course it's my opinion," we say calmly, not really taking the time to realize what those words mean. And we think we're right. That's why the words come so easily. We believe that the "opinions" we stand for are our own. And it's not really possible to know any differently until we get out from under our parents's wings. I, for one, couldn't have known how many opinions I simply don't have.

I'll admit it, I was sheltered in high school. Though much less sheltered than a number of the people I graduated with, I definitely hadn't even begun to confront some of the major issues that are lurking about in the world. Some of them are minor. For instance: how do I feel about wearing sweatpants to class. Trivial, yes. Somehow vitally important to life at Grove City college? Also, yes. But there are two major questions I've been wrestling with that are a lot more important.

1) How do I feel about smoking? The easy answers still pop up in my brain immediately: it's gross and it's bad for you. Cigarette smoke does not smell good, and it's been proven to effect your health negatively. But then there's the facts staring me in the face: a number of my close friends smoke. So that brings up a totally different question: I know I don't want to smoke, but am I cool with my friends smoking? At this point, it's hard to say no. Because they're already my friends, and (like it or not) it doesn't look like they have plans to quit smoking any time soon. I haven't totally come to a conclusion yet, but I think I've settled into a sort of basic stance on the smoking question: I'm cool with smoking as long as it's not an addiction. If you can quit of your own free volition at any point, that doesn't bother me. If I can take a pack of cigarettes away from you for two weeks, and you don't have to go buy a new pack so that you can smoke, that's fine. If you can't go more than a week without a smoke, we have an issue.

2) How do I feel about missing church? My parents and pastors drilled one fundamental idea about college into my brain: this is the time to make or break your faith. And while salvation doesn't depend on attending church, fellowship is an integral part of Christianity. So when I see some of my friends who haven't gotten up for church yet since we've been at college, it gets to me a little bit. So I guess my opinion on this is that you should want to get up for church to further your faith. Unfortunately, this just puts me into a rut of not really knowing how to approach the issue with my friends who don't attend church.

All of this to say that opinions are challenging little buggers. It's hard to even decide what my opinions are, let alone embrace them and stand up for them. And besides that, how do you share your opinion in love with someone who clearly doesn't share that opinion? These two questions don't nearly exhaust the list of things I have to decide my own opinion on.  I thought I had pretty much ironed out my thoughts on major issues, but it looks like I still have some work to do there.

I Move in on Friday!

On Friday, August 23, 2013, I will be officially moved in to University of Northwestern St. Paul. Even as I write that, I have a hard time believing it’s finally happening. Sure, I’ve already been at the school for a year doing PSEO, but actually living on campus is a whole other story. All in all, I am pretty excited, but I am honestly more terrified than anything else.

But first, some of the good things:

1. I will see this lovely lady again.

This is Heather, my good friend and one of my roommates. I met her last fall at orientation and together we braved Math for the Liberal Arts and Economics.  She is super artsy and probably one of the sweetest people I know

 

2. I will see this other lovely lady.

Because she’s been away to England, piano camp, and now Germany, I haven’t really had a chance to catch up with my wonderful sister all summer. Fortunately, neither of us have morning classes, and I have a huge meal plan to spend. I predict a smattering of breakfast dates over the course of this semester.

3. And this one, too.

This is Kelsey, my dear friend and accountability partner. She just celebrated her 20^th birthday on Sunday! I still can’t believe how awesome it is that we have ended up at the same school.

4. Because I have already been to Northwestern, I know where everything is – like the tunnels, the good places to study (the library), and the good places to scare people (basement of Naz).  And thanks to my classes last semester, I have almost figured out how to not get lost in Nazareth hall.

5. Other than philosophy, I have all of my generals done, so I can focus in on the “fun” classes that have to do with my major. I’m actually rather excited about Honors Old Testament, Drawing, Intro to Layout, Intro to Design, and Honors Art Appreciation. I’m also planning to take violin lessons and participate in orchestra.

And for now the things I’m less than thrilled about.

1.  I have been feeling sicker this summer.  Particularly during the month of July, I was having days where I wouldn’t feel awake until 7:00 in the evening. Sometimes I’d even fall asleep once or twice during the day, which usually only happens if I have a fever or stayed up for over 24 hours. And then there’s the stomach pain and headaches and joint pain that all but drive me insane.

 

2. This lovely lady leaving me for Pennsylvania.

Granted, she will be having the time of her life studying English and theatre, but I shall thoroughly miss our quarterly meetings. Thank goodness for the Internet and texting because I highly doubt I could survive without her sweet encouragement. She is probably the best friend a girl could ask for.

 

3. And this one is leaving me for Crookston.

Anna is also one of my best friends. Coincidently, she went to Pennsylvania for school last year. Fortunately, she’s closer now, so I might even be able to see her on some weekends.

4. I am dreading orientation activities. For some reason, there are five whole days of them. I already know people. I don’t feel good. I have no desire to purposefully embarrass myself. Unfortunately, it’s all required. Heather and I joked that we could just be hipsters and consider orientation activities too mainstream to participate in them.

5. I will have to buy my own gas for my car. Enough said.